Relationship Between One Individual and Another.

German poet Rainer Rilke wrote over a 100 years ago what was an almost prophetic vision of changes in the relationships between a man and a woman:

”...that man and woman, freed from all mistaken feelings and aversions, will seek each other not as opposites but as brother and sister, as neighbors, and will unite as human beings, in order to bear in common, simply, earnestly, and patiently, the heavy sex that has been laid upon them...”

He had envisioned that in the future, the traditional roles between man and women in a relationship would no longer follow the patterns of possession and obedience or control and competition. His vision described a world in which there would be room and freedom for growth as individuals, as beings, and in which each partner would be the means of releasing the other.

"...this advance will transform the love experience, which is now filled with error,will change it from the ground up, and reshape it into a relationship that is meant to be between one human being and another, no longer one that flows man to woman. And this more human love (which fulfill itself with infinite consideration and gentleness, and kindness and clarity in binding and releasing) will resemble what we are now preparing painfully and with great struggle: the love that consists in this: the two solitudes protect and border and great each other..."

Rilke had a great insight of the future however this relationship between one human being and another, this love between two solitudes idea is not something that comes easily. It has to be taken care as a delicate seed, it has to be cherish and watered and protected to grow strong roots, to flower and give its fruits.

This encounter of souls in the cosmic world is not a fiction and it does happens, however it requires man and woman to mature and understand the steps that are necessary before, during and most importantly after this magic encounter happens.

The whole process has to do with our own personal growth and understanding of human nature and our own nature. It has more to do with an open channel for communication and seeing the other one as they are - just humans trying to do it right thing - rather than just a random act of  luck and the one who will be the maker of our happiness.

Prior to go on looking for the 'other half' man and woman must learn how to stand up for themselves, to be independent, to have a strong character, and above all to be happy in their own way.

We have every single tool necessary within ourselves. We were made complete and ultimately perfect to have all the required apparatus needed to develop as beings right inside ourselves.  It,however requires courage and discipline to reach within and find the answers inside oneself with no dependency on someone else's.

N. Cardoso

What is this all about?

"Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky. " Rainer Maria Rilke

The idea of writing about relationships has been brewing in my mind for as long as I can remember. After observing relationships of all kinds around me, living a number of them myself, listening to family, friends and even strangers blowing up steam on problems and, thank Heavens, sharing happiness and successes on their relationships, has inspired me to finally do something about it....and this is how this 'journey' started.

Being a single person myself for a long time , having always been on the pursuit of the alluring 'Secret' of the 'perfect relationship' and the understanding of the human soul, its traits and its reasons, this topic has always been a personal passion.

Many of these people would come to me and talk about issues they were experiencing in their relationships. The people I talk here are people who have strong feelings for each other yet they suffer and struggle to keep these, so important, relationships alive, honest and healthy.

Observing unhappy, as well as happy and successful couples, it is surprising to notice that regardless of how much we desire to have a relationship that, we believe, will make us better and happier than we are by ourselves, the bigger majority of us lack the basic requirements that will lead us to a thriving relationship.

The realization that so little is actually needed in order to create and preserve a successful relationship is a shocking discovery. Even more so than to realize that the lack of those, same little things, condemns, this so greatly desired encounter, into a disaster.

How to find the balance? How to level the scale of relationship success where it does not tilt one way or another?

This is a difficult dilemma and we all, in one way or another, try to find the 'Happy End' we have always dreamt of.

Maybe with a collective mind, maybe working together, we can finally understand and be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It is not my intention to lecture anybody - If I knew 'The Secret', I would be on a rewarding, fulfilling relationship myself instead of peaking from the outside in, into other people experiences', trying to learn the secret myself.

I would like this search, research, sharing of ideas and thoughts to be light and, if possible, to enlighten all of us, who are in this quest.

We will talk about many things that are pretty much common sense, but when bit by the bug of love we, many times, just don't think, we die upon arrival, even it takes us much longer to realize that. We forget the simple steps and end up making this 'relationship' thing much more complicated than it's cracked up to be.

So brace yourself.  I truly hope that you enjoy the journey.

N. Cardoso