"Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold, the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul." - Democritus (460?-370? BC)
Democritus knew that to be true many years before Christ. Many things have changed since, but his knowledge about happiness is still as simples and true as it was then.
In order to be happy, the first step to be learned is to be happy with ourselves. Happiness comes from within. It does take some exercising to get used to it and learn how to tap into this inner potential.
Learning the secret of being happy, independently of another person, or any exterior influence possessions such as: money, power, possessions, social acceptance, professional environment, or any other resources is an important step on creating a healthy relationship with ourselves and, consequently, with others.
Once we have learned that our happiness must be attained within ourselves first, it will be easier to understand that it can only be enhanced by others. The knowledge that our happiness is ours, regardless of others, gives us a type of freedom that we can't fathom in our wildest dreams. It makes us wings to fly high and dare to love without being afraid of loosing. If our heart is broken throughout the process it is less painful since we know that, even thought we may now be sad for the loss, we have the understanding that they are not the key holders of our happiness, we, ourselves, are.
This knowledge makes us aware that, no matter what happens, and how long we will, temporarily be sad for the loss, it is just up tours to stand up and move on, since the source of our own happiness is within ourselves.
No, you are right, it is not an easy process, specially when we have been brain washed to believe that we would only be happy when we finish school, get a college degree, get married, have someone to love us, are accepted by our peers, have a beautiful house, a decent bank account and a job at the top....hum.....so what happens if all this doesn't happens? What if not everyone is meant to be or stay married, or to live in a beautiful house, or have a big bank account, a fancy car or occupy the few top jobs?? What then??? Does that means that the rest of us are doomed to be unhappy? There will be no rest for the wicked?
Why are we not taught that, regardless of what life throws at you, your attitude, self-respect, self-love and acceptance is what gives you the power and strength to move forward. Why were we not taught that money, house, positions, fame and power are not the only synonym of happiness?
When we are finally able to re-program ourselves to understand that we must first be happy alone, learn to be happy with the much or little we have is the only way to truly be happy with the rest of the world. When we learn to be happy alone, then it is time to keep our eyes and heart open to accept the people that will come into our lives to enhance it.
So what is Happiness?
Regardless of our culture, skin color, religion or beliefs we all look for the same thing HAPPINESS. So what is that makes us happy?
While researching about happiness I found an essay written by Buddhist Philosopher Daisaku Ikeda that talks about it:
"What is the purpose of life? It is to become happy. Whatever country or society people live in, they all have the same deep desire; to become happy.Yet, there are few ideals as difficult to grasp as that of happiness. In our daily life we constantly experience happiness and unhappiness, but we are still quite ignorant as to what happiness really is.
A young friend of mine once spent a long time trying to work out what happiness was, particularly for women. When she first thought about happiness she saw it as a matter of becoming financially secure and getting married. (The view in Japanese society then was that happiness for a woman was only to be found in marriage) But looking at friends who were married, she realized that marriage didn't necessarily guarantee happiness?
She saw couples who had been passionately in love suffering from discord soon after their wedding. She saw women who had married man with money or status but who fought constantly with their husbands.
Gradually she realized that the secret to happiness lay in building a strong inner self that no trial or hardship could ruin. She saw that happiness for anyone - man or woman - does not come simply from having a formal education, from wealth or from marriage. It begins with having the strength to confront and conquer one's own weaknesses. Only then does it become possible to lead a truly happy life and enjoy a successful marriage.
She finally told me, "Now I can say with confidence that happiness doesn't exist in the past or in the future. It only exists within out state of life right now, here in the present, as we face the challenges of daily life."
You know best if you are feeling joy or struggling with suffering. These things are not know to other people. Even a man who has great wealth, social recognition and many awards may still be shadowed by indescribable suffering deep in his heart. On the other hand, an elderly woman who isn't fortunate financially, leading a simple life alone, may feel the sun of joy and happiness rising in her heart each day.
Happiness is not life without problems, but rather the strength to overcome the problems that come our way. The is no such a thing as problem-free life; difficulties are unavoidable. But how we experience and react to our problems depends on us. Buddhism teaches that we are each responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness. Our vitality - the amount of energy or "life-force" we have - is in fact the single most important factor in determining whether or not we are happy.
True happiness is to be found within, in the state of our hearts. It is subject and varies from person to person. It does not exist on the far side of some distant mountains. It is within you, yourself. However much you try, you can never run away Fro. Yourself. And if you are weak, suffering will follow you wherever you go. You will neVer find happiness if you don't challenge weaknesses sets and change yourself.
Happiness is to be found in the dynamism and energy of your own life as you struggle to overcome one obstacle after another. This is why I believe that a person who is active and free from fear is truly happy.
The challenges we face in life can be compared to a tall mountain, rising before a mountain climber. For some who has not trained properly, whose muscles and reflexes are weak and slow, every inch of the climb will be filled with terror and pain. The exact same climb, however, will be a thrilling journey for someone who's prepared, whose legs and arms have been strengthened by constant training. With each step forward and up, beautiful new views will come into sight."
I believe this beautiful thought surmises the chapter about being happy first.
N. Cardoso
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